Friday, October 17, 2008

Racer #2201

Today I got a number...I am Ironman Participant #2201. Today, for some reason, it became so very real to me. I am sitting here with a horrible head-ache, with every reason to go to bed...but I can't. I go from crying out of frustration that I haven't been able to go out and train to nervousness that in a two weeks I will be racing. Competing in what many people think is insanity. Proving to myself that I am capable of doing 140.6 miles under 17 hours. Showing my husband he married a determined woman, demonstrating to my parents they raised a strong person and to my children that anything is possible.

As I sit here typing, I fight myself in self-doubt. What if I haven't put enough time in to my training? What if I don't make a cut-off time? What if I get stung by a Jellyfish??? Seriously!! I know I have put the time in. I know I am strong in the water...hell, I swam 2.5 miles on Wednesday in 1hour 35 minutes. I am a great cyclist; 100 miles and I still have energy to want to do more, but I have to hold back. I worry about the run. Have I done enough running?

Tomorrow, I am heading out for a run. A short run, but a run non the less. I have been in bed for two days now. RESTING. I literally couldn't get out of bed today...but I can't handle another day down. Tomorrow I run. Even if it's just a quick 6 miles...I need to run to have my confidence back. To know I can. Tomorrow I run for me. Not for training...but for me.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Have no fears! I wasn't able to run from June 3rd on and I finished my IM in September 2007 just fine. I ran about 12 miles (against doctor's orders) because walking was too boring. Just take care of your cold and chill out. The training period is over; it's time to get excited! The reward is coming.

Jen from DM

gwpjewel said...

I know you girl and you are going to rock that run in Florida. Remember my first marathon? No running for 6 weeks prior. I had to use my elliptical a lot! I still finished and so will you. You'll meet the cutoffs and you'll breeze through the run...trust in yourself..you've done the work..your friend Jen is right..The training period is over; it's time to get excited! The reward is coming. I love you!