Have I done enough??

One day closer to a tapper. As I was on my bike yesterday, it occurred to me that this journey is almost over. It's sad really...and scary! I hope I am ready. Yes, it's been tiring, but not as painful as expected. There have been several days that I didn't want to train or felt I was too busy...but the training got done. Have I done enough???

Everyone I have talked to has mentioned how exhausted they are, how sore they are, how DONE they are. I don't feel that way. I did a 5 hour 90+ ride yesterday with my "men" and was tired last night. But, not drop dead tired. I was still able to go for a short (10 minute) run, go to Costco, then the store, make dinner, do dishes and do a load of laundry. When asked if I could go out and run a marathon after my ride; my response was "Yep, I could, but I don't want too."

Am I exhausted? I think I might be. But another part of me just wants to have a glass of wine, or eat bread! (My stomach doesn't like breads or pastries lately) My kids say that my fuse is short, but I still have energy to do stuff. Although my house is a mess, and it doesn't seem like I get as much done in a day as I use too. I don't feel exhausted. I have energy...or at least fuel in the system.

Am I sore? NO! Not at all. I was a little yesterday off of the bike, but not even Spa or Tylenol worthy. This I think scares me the most. Shouldn't I be sore? Even a little?? Does this mean that I am not pushing myself hard enough? Will I be able to make the run???

Am I done with all this training? With some things, yes. But, I love riding my bike and I have found a LOVE for the water that I didn't know existed. I love swimming...it becomes very relaxing and almost puts me into a meditative state of mind. The run...I will get through. Which is kind of funny, since this was the one area I thought was my strongest. I think I am sad that the training is coming to an end. What will I do with 20 plus hours a week added into my life again? What can I train for next? Have I trained enough??? Should I have trained on my Optional days off that I took? (If it said "optional day off" I took the day off. I hope this doesn't bite me in the butt!)

Is it wrong to already be planning Arizona 2009? Yes, that will be #2 if #1 is successful. If for some reason #1 is not...than that will be ATTEMPT #2~!

Have I done enough??? Am I ready? Shouldn't I be more sore??? Shouldn't I be THINNER!!!! Am I being realistic that I think I can do this Ironman thing? How many people will I have disappointed if I do not succeed? Corey has taken so much time off for this trip, the kids have seen less of me since my training began, my in-laws, parents, friends and neighbors have all joined in on the quest. I have had people support me in so many ways. Will I be able to face the Ironman Crew if I fail? What will they say at Ironman CDA if I don't make it to the finish line? What will my tri-team say? How will my friends that are racing with me feel? What about my coaches that have put so much into this race and training me?

GOD....I hope I have done enough!

Just One of those days

Ever have just one of those days? A week full of amazing work-outs and then BAMMM it hits you...no desire to train. Just wanting to do nothing....but you know you should! There's an Ironman in the near future...not that far away.

Yesterday was my anniversary and so my Corey (yes that's My Corey...I am very possessive) and I went out on a Bike Ride. (I had some training to do...) We went out last week and for the first time in my LIFE I dropped Corey. It was great. (Although now I think he may have let me drop him...) We were cruising, he let me set the pace and I turned around and he wasn't there. NOW, yesterday, we rode side by side. Just cruising a nice 20 MPH pace. On the way back, with nothing being said, he started to speed up. The nerve of him challenging me like that! We hit 28 mph and I couldn't keep it going. We had gradually been increasing our speed (he pushed, then I countered and back and forth) over a 10 minute time period. I got dropped...it sucked. COREY'S BACK! If you have ever ridden with Corey then you know that he is not human.

I got my ride in and followed it with a Swim. A GREAT Swim. One of those swims that you go "Dude I ROCK in the water". It was a swim that I decided my new name should be NEMO. I was able to swim, flip turn and swim some more. 2 hours of just swimming. Very Zen like. I was able to plan for my upcoming trip to Moab, my grocery list for the week, which races I would like to create over the next two years, and what changes I need to make to my funeral outline. (There should be no questions about what I expect at my funeral)

Then we come to today...suppose to do a 7 mile run. Didn't happen. Cleaned my car, organized my business cards, emailed anyone I could. A run, I did not. Corey said it was my body telling me to rest...I think it's me being LAZY. Now tomorrow I need to run and swim, I can't leave that section blank in my training log. It just wouldn't be right.

The weather is actually perfect for a run, but now the sun is setting and it's too dark for me to run, and leave my daughter home alone. Guess it will be a long day tomorrow..slamming down the trainings.

5 Weeks to GO!!!!

A Cold Morning Swim...

Fall is here! I got up this morning ready to take on my Wednesday open water swim with the world's most fabulous swim coach...Dee Fraiser. Got in the water and discovered that 63 degrees is COLD . It was a balmy 42 outside, so I figured the water would feel warm. My body told me something different.

So Dee (dry in her Kayak) lead the way out to the "dark part of the water" (deep...) and said "let's go long". I couldn't swim more than 300 yards without stopping. I couldn't get my breathing right and my strokes felt so short. It stunk! Not wanting to give up and call it a day...I stopped a lot. Finally, I discovered how truly cold I was...dizziness set in.

Have you ever tried to swim and spot while dizzy? Let me tell you...it's like 10 shots of tequila in you and trying to ride a bike. Not a good combination. At that point I told Dee, I think it's a pool day. She agreed. SO, as lame as I feel, and only getting in about 30 minutes of swimming...I am now off to Peak to follow the black line at the bottom of the pool....

We'll try another lake swim on Monday. At least the sun is suppose to come back and make me feel like it's warmer outside.

Ramblings of a soon to be Ironman....

Every day I open my email to the same questions.."how's your Ironman training going". Well, with 38 days left until IM FL 08 and the same questions appearing over and over everyday...I decided to take on blogging. This way, I can track what I am doing, and so can you!

Now, let me warn you...I have never had a blog before, just a personal journal. And, at times, I can't even follow my own thoughts. SO, this could be a trip into the Twilight Zone for many. (Or the new question may be When are you going to start Psycho-therapy? Although that was recommended when I announced I was going to train for Florida.)

When I first registered, the main question was WHY? I guess I should start with that.

I guess my answer is Why not? I have done Marathons, Ultra Cycling, Mountain biking, MTB Racing, X-terra, Duathlons, Adventure Races, 12 hour races, 24 hour races and many other events...so what else can I do? Every challenge we put ourselves through; mental, emotional, physical, financial...makes us stronger. This will either make me stronger...or Kill me. (Just kidding mom! I promised her I would stop if I thought I was going to die.)

I need to prove to myself that I can. I work with amazing people on the race circuit, and every IM I work...I look at the field and know I could do that. This just proves to myself that I can.

For my kids...yes...that seems cliche I know. But it's true. The first time I crossed the Marathon Finish Line, my son was so proud! I could see it in his eyes. When I use to live in California and would be training for "what-ever event was coming up", my kids were the ones motivating me to get out and run or bike. And now; when I hear that both of my kids brag that their mom is going to be an Ironman, I can't help to smile and feel proud.

I am competing For ME - I guess if it all comes down to it. I am doing it for me. Yes, selfish as it may be, It's all about MICHELLE. A friend of mine and I had a discussion a few weeks ago, and she laid out her priorities. She listed them as Her family, her friends, and her job. And I told her that I was far more selfish. I come first in my life...then my family, friends, job, etc. (as normal people list them). She was a little shocked. But it's true. I come first. If I am not happy, then how is the rest of my family going to be happy? If I don't feel fulfilled, how am I going to lift the spirits and encourage my family and friends to strive for the impossible? If I am not in charge of my life...how can I expect to be in charge of two wonderful children's lives?

Hell...I guess I am also doing it for bragging rights. This is a big one. How many people do Ironman distance triathlons? Yes, it's not like it was in the 80's when it was truly only the elites and crazy doing it. But there are still far less people challenging the IM course than racing in a Marathon. I think I should find out the stats for that!

It's a self-centered thought...but when you are cycling for 5 hours alone with no-one to talk to...this is what you think about!